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kate
Posted by kau666 on 2005.12.22 at 13:23

Comments:


crusty_mcboobs at 2005-12-29 04:29 (UTC) (Link)
youve got a good poem here, it just needs to be cleaned up. drop the
italicised 'they' for starters (how did you get italics on this thing,
anyway?) because it really isn't necessary. i thought the rhythm in
the first 2 verses was really good, but then it gets broken up and
becomes quite hard to follow in the second half. 'the silent
majority' seems misplaced because its referring to you the poet,
right? i don't think poets have ever been the majority!
but yeah, i do like the sentiment and have been feeling it a lot
lately. not only needing to write something but needing to write
something important, and the procrastination that involves, and
the feeling that you're wasting time ... yeah, its very familiar!
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