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ode to intoxicants

Posted by doesthemagkdrgn on 2006.01.08 at 21:47


Puff the Magic Dragon
doesthemagkdrgn at 2006-01-12 14:34 (UTC) (Link)
the bleached washed veins (always get the A and E mixed up on that one) was an on the spot add in as the line wasn't fully filled out and broke the rythm of the poem, originally it was
The romantic chemical is flowing
Through my veins
which is closer to one line following the flow of the rest of the poem.
the "always ignored" i realised was ambiguous(?) when i typed it out. i'm actually refering to the "bugs". i was trying to create an idea that although these bugs of love are imaginary i (or the author, depending if you're a post modernist) i still expect others to see them, but they're just ignored.
the fazing was part of the first stage when i was most out of it, but i think i'd keep the word even tho it's more pop culture than real (such as groovy, or whacked) because at the time i was fazing in and out of consciousness (between imaginary state and real). it's more a comment on my mental state than on my vision, tho i don't expect the reader to understand that.
you're right, i should be bleach washed. i was wondering why that line didn't work.
i'm not sure how to change the ignored line while still keeping the flow. perhaps
No fear of a stinger, they dance for love,
Though always ignored. My companion stares on
Out the window...
hmm... that may work, i'll make those changes now.
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